Archive for the ‘perspectives’ Category

Does Your Duck Say ‘Phooey’? - 4 Tips On What To Do When Your Duck Won’t Stand In The Row

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Are you struggling to get your ducks in a row?  Trying to get everything in order before you take some sort of action -maybe leave your job, launch a new initiative, start a business.  Are you delaying the realization of a vision?  

If you know the frustration of trying to get your ducks in a row, getting everything just right, all taken care of the way you want it to be, then you’ll enjoy this cartoon by Victoria Roberts’ (published in a 2004 issue of Real Simple magazine).

The caption with it reads:

“I have one duck here that says ‘Phooey’ to being in a row.”

Ah, don’t you just love it!?!  Try as we may, things don’t always go as we want them to.  But you know, the problem isn’t that the ducks won’t line up, it’s that we delay action until they do.  And reality check, they probably won’t ever line up as perfectly as you want! So what’s going on?  Why are we so obsessed with getting everything so perfectly lined up?

Yes, it makes good sense to organize and plan before you launch into something new.  But when we become a slave to perfection we put our lives on pause and deny our visions the chance to transform from possibility to reality!

You may wonder “well then what should I do?”

Here are my 3 tips on what to do when the ducks say “phooey”:

1) Dismiss, delay or delegate some of the ducks.  Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations and want everything to come together all at once.  Things take time and that’s okay.  So decide which ducks really do need to be lined up now and which can be dismissed, delayed or delegated.  Now let them go so you’re not distracted from your purposely chosen little duckies!

2) Create a flexible system to help you organize the tasks, milestones and deadlines related to your ducks.    Once you get clear which ones you are going to be working on, you do need to do some planning.  Flexibility is key here because you will be learning and discovering as you go.  Make your plans adjustable.  (See below to read about a system that I just discovered and has been working wonders for me!)

3) Get some creative perspective on the situation.  Are you enslaving yourself to ego-fueled perfection when you demand that everything be lined up before you act?  If so, then you are locking your mind into a perception of “the way things must be”, as if there is no other way that it could be.  But there are always other ways things can be done.  What if the ducks got into circles, or maybe pyramids?  Or what if you let them play leapfrog.  What would it be like if you brought a little creativity into the process? 

4) Develop a sense for when the rows (or circles and pyramids) are ‘good enough’ and it’s time to go!  So two ducks just sat down, one is doing a cartwheel, and three others are gossiping in the back corner.  But you do have the majority of them at full attention, and deep down inside, you know this is good enough.  It’s time to go! So now, what will you do differently with your phooey-speaking ducks?

A New Take On Resolutions: 5 Tips For Creating Joyful Transformation in 2008

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

New Year’s resolutions are almost always centered around well intentioned quests for self-improvement. Unfortunately, most resolutions don’t last. Within weeks, days, sometimes even hours, we are back to our old habits. No lasting change, just the familiar feeling of disappointment, guilt and frustration at our apparent inability to buckle down.

Why does this happen year after year? Is it because we are weak, lazy or undisciplined? No!

We ditch our resolutions because we have unconsciously allowed our inner critics to become our personal taskmasters on an ego-fueled quest for perfection. Ick.

I will give up simple carbs.
I will floss after every meal.
I will stop reading celebrity gossip blogs.
(Yes, that’s mine!)

There’s nothing inherently wrong with these resolutions but do you sense an attitude of all-or-nothing rigidity, an air of judgment, a generally feeling of this-is-not-going-to-be-fun? That’s the energy coming from a resolution chosen by an inner critic. The inner critic is pretty clear that we are inadequate the way we are today, so it’s “time you get your butt in gear, buster!”

Who wants to be subjected to that sort of judgment? Not me!

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Creating lasting personal transformation, which is the purpose of a resolution, can be enriching, joyful and satisfying.

So here are my 5 tips on how to create joyful transformation in 2008:

(1) CELEBRATE 2007 - Review the year looking for things to celebrate, memories to cherish, and lessons to apply in 2008. If you can’t remember, look through your calendar to trigger memories. Capture whatever emerges in your favorite journal.  You can make lists, free flow journal, or draw about the past years highlights and lessons.

(2) RELEASE 2007 - Make a list of the things you want to let go of from last year - the mistakes, disappointments, failures, grievances. This list should be all the things that that will become emotional and mental baggage if carried into the new year. Now read over each item and explore how it served to show you a lesson. Then thank it for helping you grow, and forgive yourself for any judgment, criticism or resistance you put up in the face of this lesson. Now the fun part. Get a thick marker and write in big letters over the list “THANK YOU. NOW, I RELEASE YOU. GOODBYE.” If you like you can burn, bury or shred the paper, just to really get the point across, you are releasing 2007!

(3) VISION FROM THE FUTURE - This is a right-brain activity that shocks me every time I do it for myself! You are going to write a letter to a trusted, loved one, but you are going to date it in the future. Let’s make it December 31, 2008. Tell them about all your successes and joys, the lessons you learned and adventures you took. Also, tell them a little bit about how you did these things, how it all unfolded. (This is the right-brain part that allows you to bypass the inner critic and reveal the “resolutions” that are aligned with your authentic core.)

(4) CHOOSE INTENTIONS - Now review the letter you wrote to your trusted loved one and consciously choose the actions you want to take in 2008, the actions that will lead you to the future you visualized. These are your new year intentions (resolution is so 2007).

(5) FIND A SYMBOL - Choose a symbol that will remind you of the future you intend to create this year. Something that connects with your vision. It could be an image, a quote, a song, or something you created like a drawing, collage, or even piece of clothing. Be creative!

That’s it folks! Have fun with this process, and remember, keep your intentions fun, joyful and always keep them aligned with your authentic core!

CALL TO ACTION ::

Will you help me start a dialogue? Post a comment to share your celebrations, lessons learned, mistakes released or intentions set.